I've never being a happy person within myself, never have I ever felt 'beautiful,happy of confident.' In all honesty I see myself as the 'fat and frumpy' friend, someone I loathe and detest and if I could swap places with one of my girls I would. That's the problem. I can't. I'm stuck in this body for LIFE. Whenever I like it or not theres no changing it, and I thought you've got to learn to love yourself and rock every curve you have. It's something I've had to do for my own sanity. I've suffered a lot over the years due to 10 years of bullying which hammered away at my mental health leading to other issues. Recovery from them issues have meant I'm a more positive person but to grow as a person I've had to face up to my demons: confidence. A lack of confidence is something most people don't think I have on paper I don't fit the job, I'm outspoken, loud, smiley however on the inside my brain is saying 'sit up cause you'll look fat, change your outfit, contour more.' Confidence is something I long for I can dish it out very easily, friend in the dumps, I bet you I'm the one giving them confidence booster advice, yet somehow I can't listen to it myself? As of January 2016 I've made it my mission to love myself and give something back to myself. I've stay clear of negativity and girly arguments, I've kept myself to myself and worked on my self esteem. I've taken up my passion of running again and run once or twice a week to make my mind clear and fresh. I make it a weekly thing to have a bath bomb from lush in a bath and a facemask. I've made it my guilty pleasure to chill with a glass of coke or champagne if I'm feeling great with some junk food and rubbish T.V. I stick post it notes with positive notes around my room and inspirational quotes that will motivate me and keep my mind healthy. On that note check out KhloeK instagram for kick of good vibes. I no longer allow myself to feel 'fat' and I only wear clothes that make me happy. I no longer care for bad vibes and people's negativity and I'm focused and determined on myself to succeed. Yes I still have days where I feel fat but those days have significantly decreased just by lovin' myself a lil better and having a clearer mind. I'm not one to take photos of myself in a mirror but I recently took my first one and couldn't help but gaze at it for hours. I won't feel bad for being a size 10 just because society standards say it isn't 'skinny' enough. Who's with me to kicking society's standards?
Next time your feeling down take some time for yourself. You deserve it. You are more than critics comments.
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